Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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