I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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