Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
two words: eviction party
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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