# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
