so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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