Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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