Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
