My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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