Quick, to the slutcave!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
