Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
