apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
