Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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