therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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