I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize