Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
