Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
