I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
