his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Randomize
