The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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