If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
