I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
