a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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