Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
soo... how was my night?
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