I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
