I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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