oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I have fence marks all over my body
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
