Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
