thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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