He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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