he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
