I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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