??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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