Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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