He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
