Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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