Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize