Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You ate ashes out of my bong
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
