I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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