In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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