And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
