I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
