I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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