That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
