im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
