party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
birth control should be required to get into college
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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