is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
