Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
no, he came in my armpit
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
