It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
