Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's official drugs can't kill me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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