so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
