i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
