big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
