oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Panties = found
Randomize
