eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
