Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
