Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
