so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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