How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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