Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
