I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
