Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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