saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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