So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
