I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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